Why Do So Many Women in Singapore Live With Anxiety Without Getting Help?
3 hours ago
4 min read
A woman can hold a demanding job and keep a household running for years before anyone (including herself) notices how much anxiety she has been carrying. A survey released this month by JCU Singapore and the Singapore Council of Women's organisations found that about 1 in 3 of the women aged 40 to 59 that it surveyed showed symptoms consistent with anxiety (Shafeeq, 2026).
Reading this Straits Times article on women and anxiety just ahead of the World Mental Health Day (10 Oct), I recognised much of what the women I work with describe, and parts of it here made me reflect on who reaches a counselling room in the first place.
How common is anxiety among women in Singapore?
Alongside the anxiety figure, about one fifth of respondents showed symptoms consistent with depression, and half said they had experienced a mental health concern at some point in their lives.
Much of the distress I see in female clients sits below the threshold of a formal depression or anxiety disorder, while still wearing down their sleep and their patience at home. I notice how often it is explained away as being tired or busy, and because these women continue to function well at work, the people around them rarely see a reason for concern.
The article also mentioned that workplace stress and family problems were the most commonly cited pressures. Clinically, anxiety in women tends to build gradually from overlapping demands over many years, which is part of why it is so easy to overlook.
Why women with more distress are less likely to seek help
Women who were more distressed were less likely to seek help, whether from professionals or from family and friends. While this runs against the common assumption that people reach out once things become bad enough, it does make sense clinically. As mental distress rises, people's avoidance usually tends to increase, and the effort required to find a therapist and explaining yourself to a stranger can feel beyond what you have remaining in your tank.
What I noticed in women who eventually come to seek help is that they often describe putting off that first session for many months. By the time they arrive, the anxiety has usually become harder to separate from the rest of their lives.
Is counselling a luxury? Cost and mental health care in Singapore
Another point from the article that struck me was that more than 50% of the respondents considered mental health services in Singapore unaffordable. I empathise that for many women this is a genuine worry, especially when the household budget is already stretched across children as well as ageing parents.
In counselling sessions, I often hear that the concern about cost is tied up with guilt about spending on oneself. A woman may pay for her child's tuition or her parent's medical bills without hesitation, yet feel that her own well-being should wait until everyone else is taken care of. Almost like an instinct for someone who has spent years looking after others, even though it often leaves her carrying the strain for far longer than she needs to.
Men, women, and seeking counselling in Singapore
In my own practice, more men than women reach out for professional help, which surprised me at first given how often women are described as the ones more willing to seek help. International studies do tend to show women using mental health services more than men (Johnson, 2024).
While many women do seem to reach out to friends or family for non-professional support before they think of professional help, the survey here adds a caution, since the most distressed women were also less likely to turn to family and peers. It leaves me wondering how many women are managing their anxiety entirely on their own, without a professional or even the people closest to them knowing how much they are carrying.
Subsidised vs. private mental health support for women in Singapore
While I am a private practitioner, private counselling is one option among several in Singapore, and I would rather a person receive mental health support from a subsidised service than go without support due to cost. For many of the female clients I see, the hardest part for them was deciding whether to reach out for professional help at all, and this first step can be taken wherever it feels most financially manageable.
Some options people may not know is that polyclinics and hospitals provide subsidised mental health care, and community-based mental health teams in many neighbourhoods offer basic counselling at a low charge.
These services involve a longer wait to get an appointment and sessions usually fall within office hours. Private counselling costs more, though it usually offers shorter waiting times and more flexibility in scheduling, so the choice often depends on which of these matters more to you at the moment.
World Mental Health Day and Women's Mental Health
The World Mental Health Day falls on 10 October, and this is a fitting time for us to acknowledge how many women in Singapore live with anxiety without help, and to understand what keeps them from reaching out. If you recognise yourself in these findings, your own mental well-being deserves the same care you give so readily to the people who you care for.
Our counselling and therapy services in the East side of Singapore offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings with a qualified therapist, with flexible scheduling options to fit your hectic lifestyle. We use approaches like CBT, CTRT and ACT to help you develop more flexible responses to anxiety.
If you are ready to take the next step in managing your anxiety, contact us today to schedule an appointment. Taking care of your mental well-being is one of the most important investments you can make in yourself.
Stella Ong is a clinical member and registered counsellor with the Singapore Association for Counselling, registration number (C0940). Click here for more information on Stella Ong.
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References
Johnson, B. E. (2024). Gender differences in mental health. In EBSCO Research Starters: Psychology. EBSCO. https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/psychology/gender-differences-mental-health/
Picco, L., Subramaniam, M., Abdin, E., Vaingankar, J. A., & Chong, S. A. (2017). Gender differences in major depressive disorder: Findings from the Singapore Mental Health Study. Singapore Medical Journal, 58(11), 649–655. https://doi.org/10.11622/smedj.2016144
Shafeeq, S. (2026, October 9). 1 in 3 middle-aged women in S’pore had anxiety symptoms; more distressed less likely to seek help: Survey. The Straits Times. https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/community/1-in-3-middle-aged-women-in-spore-had-anxiety-symptoms-more-distressed-less-likely-to-seek-help
