Do I Need Therapy or Just Need to Talk to Someone?
- Stella Ong
- Aug 13
- 5 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
When you are dealing with relationship problems, work stress, family conflicts, or feelings of anxiety and depression, it is natural to wonder whether you need professional help or if talking to someone you trust is sufficient. Understanding the differences between needing therapy vs. informal support can help you make the best decision for your mental health.
When Talking to Friends and Family Is Helpful
Sometimes, personal struggles can indeed be managed through self-care and conversations with supportive friends or family members (American Psychological Association [APA], 2017). Informal support from your social network provides valuable emotional connection, companionship and practical help during difficult times. Research shows that people in recovery from mental health challenges often receive significant benefit from both formal professional help and informal support from their social networks (Lauzier-Jobin & Houle, 2022).
Informal helpers like spouses, family members, friends, or colleagues offer unique advantages that professional therapy cannot replicate. They provide continuous presence and availability, emotional closeness and reciprocal relationships where you can both give and receive support. These relationships involve shared activities, companionship and the comfort of talking to someone who knows you well and cares about your well-being.
Key Signs You Might Need Professional Therapy
While friends and family provide invaluable support, there are specific indicators that suggest professional help would be more beneficial. Mental health professionals use two general guidelines when determining if therapy is needed: whether the problem is causing significant distress and whether it is interfering with important aspects of daily functioning (APA, 2017).
Distress Indicators
Consider seeking professional help if you experience any of the following for an extended period:
You spend considerable time each week thinking about the problem
The issue feels embarrassing to the point where you want to hide it from others
Your quality of life has decreased over the past few months
You feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or unable to cope effectively
Interference with Daily Life
Professional intervention becomes particularly important when problems significantly disrupt your functioning:
The issue consumes more than an hour of your day
You have had to curtail work or educational goals because of the problem
You are ignoring responsibilities and pushing away commitments
Your relationships, work performance, or daily activities are suffering
How Therapy Differs from Talking to Friends
While both formal therapy and informal support serve important functions in mental health recovery, they operate through different mechanisms and offer distinct advantages.
Professional Training and Expertise
The most significant difference lies in professional competencies. Registered counsellors and psychologists have specialized education, training, and knowledge that serve as the foundation for their helping behaviours, including active listening techniques and evidence-based intervention strategies (Lauzier-Jobin & Houle, 2022). In the Singapore context, do look for Counsellors registered under Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC) or Psychologists registered under Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). Unlike informal helpers who rely on personal experience and common sense, mental health professionals can take their assistance further through understanding and applying specific therapeutic techniques and tools.
Structured and Deliberate Approach
Professional therapy provides a structured framework with clear therapeutic objectives and follow-up. This deliberate approach includes reflecting on the help provided, consulting with teams or supervisors and maintaining professional boundaries. The time-limited nature of therapy sessions, while different from the continuous availability of friends and family, creates a special focused time reserved specifically for the healing of your mental well-being.
Emotional Distance and Objectivity
Friends and family are emotionally invested and may/may not sympathize with your struggles, while professional psychotherapists maintain therapeutic distance while providing empathy. This emotional detachment creates a sense of safety and freedom that facilitates deeper therapeutic work, including sharing difficult experiences, honest self-reflection, and confronting challenging issues.
Specialized Communication
Both professional and informal relationships involve communication and active listening, but they manifest differently. Communication with therapists tends to be more structured and targeted toward specific therapeutic goals, while conversations with friends and family are typically more spontaneous and wide-ranging.
The Complementary Nature of Both Types of Support
Research shows that formal and informal help serve complementary, rather than competing roles in mental health recovery (Lauzier-Jobin & Houle, 2022). People actively choose what to discuss with different sources of support, maintaining both types of relationships because they serve different functions.
Informal helpers (such as your friends) typically serve a broader array of support functions than professionals, particularly in areas of emotional bonding, reciprocity and everyday companionship. However, professional therapy excels in providing specialized interventions, maintaining therapeutic boundaries and offering expert guidance for complex mental health challenges.
Making the Decision
The choice to enter therapy is deeply personal, but scientific studies have shown that many psychological problems can be effectively treated using evidence-based therapeutic approaches (APA, 2017). If you are experiencing persistent distress or interference with daily functioning, professional help can provide you the specialized tools and strategies that informal support alone may not address.
Remember that seeking therapy doesn't mean you are not tapping on your support network. Rather, it means adding professional expertise to complement informal support you already receive. Many people benefit most from combining both formal therapy and strong informal relationships with their friends and family, and each contributes uniquely to the recovery process.
If you are unsure whether therapy is right for you, consider that many psychological problems have been shown to be treatable using short-term therapeutic approaches. Learning about different therapy options can help you determine if it might be a good fit for your personality and situation. When persistent problems feel overwhelming or unmanageable, professional help is available to support your journey toward better mental health.
Are You Ready to Start Therapy?
If you recognized signs that professional support could be helpful, I offer flexible scheduling options and draw from evidence-based methods such as CBT, ACT, CTRT, and GMCT to help you develop effective coping skills and make meaningful progress.
As an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist located in East Singapore, I am committed to providing affordable and high-quality mental health support for all clients, regardless of background or identity.
Contact me today to discuss how we can work together to support your mental well-being with a schedule that works for you.
Stella Ong is a clinical member and registered counsellor with the Singapore Association for Counselling, registration number (C0940). Click here for more information on Stella Ong.
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References
American Psychological Association. (2017, July 31). How do I know if I need therapy? https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/seeking-therapy
Lauzier-Jobin, F., & Houle, J. (2022). A comparison of formal and informal help in the context of mental health recovery. International Journal of Social Psychiatry, 68(4), 729-737. https://doi.org/10.1177/00207640211004988
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