What Is Grief? Navigating the Stages, Types, and When to Seek Counselling
- Stella Ong
- May 30
- 5 min read
Updated: Jun 11
Grief is one of life's most profound and universal experiences. As a therapist, I understand that navigating grief and loss can feel overwhelming. Whether you are facing the death of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship or any other meaningful losses, professional support is available to help you through this difficult time.
Understanding Grief and Loss
Grief is the natural emotional response to loss - the deep anguish and pain we experience when someone or something important to us is no longer present in our lives. While bereavement traditionally refers to the loss of a person through death, grief encompasses a much broader spectrum of experiences.
Loss can take many forms beyond death alone. You might be grieving the end of a marriage, the loss of a career or job, moving away from a familiar place, changes in your health or physical abilities or even the loss of dreams and expectations you held for the future. In Singapore, people often experience grief related to career transitions, relationship loss, and the pressure to meet societal expectations.
What makes grief particularly difficult is that it affects us in many ways, be it emotionally, physically, mentally, and/or spiritually. You might find yourself experiencing intense sadness, anger, confusion, or even numbness. Physically, grief can manifest as fatigue, changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, or unexplained aches. Many people also struggle with focus and concentration, and feel disconnected from their usual activities.
The Five Stages of Grief
Dr. Kübler-Ross introduced the widely recognized 5-stage model of grief, which remains relevant today. It is important to understand that these five stages are not linear - i.e. you might experience them in different orders, go back to certain stages, or not experience all of the stages. Everyone's grief journey is unique.
Denial often serves as our mind's initial protection mechanism. When faced with devastating news, it is natural to think "This can't be happening to me" or "There must be a mistake." This stage helps buffer the immediate shock and allows us to gradually process difficult realities.
Anger frequently emerges as the numbness or shock begins to fade. You might find yourself asking "Why me?" or feeling frustrated with others, yourself, or even the person you lost. This anger is actually pain in disguise - a way of expressing the deep hurt you are experiencing.
Bargaining represents our attempt to regain control over an uncontrollable situation. You might find yourself making deals with a higher power, thinking "If only I had done this differently," or desperately searching for ways to undo the loss.
Depression is when the full weight of the loss becomes clear. This stage involves deep sadness, withdrawal from activities, and feeling overwhelmed by the reality of your new circumstances. Unlike clinical depression, this is a natural response to loss, though professional support can be invaluable during this period.
Acceptance doesn't mean you are "okay" with the loss, or that you will stop missing what you have lost. Instead, it means you are beginning to adapt to life with this loss and finding ways to carry your memories forward while rebuilding your life.
Types of Grief You Might Experience
Anticipatory Grief occurs when you know a loss is coming, such as when a loved one has a terminal illness. This allows you to begin processing emotions before the actual loss occurs.
Complicated Grief happens when intense grief persists for an extended period, significantly impacting your daily functioning. Professional support is particularly beneficial for complicated grief.
Disenfranchised Grief refers to losses that aren't widely recognized or validated by society - such as miscarriage, death of a pet, or the end of a non-traditional relationship. These losses can feel particularly isolating.
How Grief Counselling Can Help
Grief counselling provides a safe, non-judgmental space to process your emotions and experiences. In our multicultural Singapore context, I understand that different cultures have varying approaches to grief and mourning. Some clients prefer to process grief through talking, while others benefit from creative expression or mindfulness-based approaches.
Using evidence-based therapeutic methods like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) as well as other approaches, I help clients process complex emotions, develop healthy coping strategies, and gradually adapt to life after loss. Sessions are conducted in a comfortable environment, with flexibility to use a mix of both English and Mandarin language as needed.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who needs grief counselling?
While grief is a natural process, professional support can be particularly helpful if your grief feels overwhelming, if it is significantly impacting your daily life, work, or relationships, or if you feel stuck in your grieving process. Grief counselling is also valuable when you lack adequate support system or when your loss isn't being acknowledged by others around you.
How long does grief counselling take?
Will I ever "get over" my grief?
Is it normal to have "good days" and "bad days"?
Grief Counselling Services in Singapore
My counselling practice is conveniently situated in the East side of Singapore near Eunos, Joo Chiat and Katong area. Recognizing that grief doesn't follow a 9-to-5 schedule, I offer flexible appointment scheduling, including evening sessions and weekend appointments to support you with convenience in mind during this difficult time.
My comprehensive grief counselling services include:
Individual counselling sessions (60 minutes)
Evidence-based approaches (CBT, CTRT, ACT, etc.)
Online therapy options for those unable to attend in person
Bilingual counselling services (mix of English and Mandarin)
One of the most affordable therapy options in Singapore
Whether you are dealing with recent loss or grief that has persisted over time, compassionate professional mental health support can help you navigate this difficult chapter of your life.
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