Rethinking Simple, Daily Self-Care Habits

I made an Instagram post about self-care a while back, but I have been thinking more about it lately and wanted to revisit the topic in a more in-depth way. So here’s a deeper look at what self-care really means.

When people think about self-care, they might picture elaborate weekend getaways or an expensive spa day. But real self-care is usually much simpler – it is the small choices you make throughout your day that protect your mental space and support your well-being.

Self-care can be understood across four main dimensions: psychological, spiritual, physiological, and social (Malinowski, 2014). Psychological self-care includes practices like mindfulness, seeking different perspectives when you’re stuck, and managing your thoughts and emotions. Spiritual self-care involves connecting with your values and sense of purpose, and this doesn't have to be religious but more about what gives your life meaning. Physiological self-care covers the basics like exercise, sleep, nutrition, and leisure activities that help your body function well. Social self-care is about maintaining healthy connections with friends, family and peers, and knowing when to reach out for support.

These dimensions all work together. You might notice that when you are not sleeping well (physiological), it is harder to manage stress (psychological), or when you are isolated (social), you feel less grounded (spiritual).

Why This Matters

Research on young people’s mental health shows that many don’t receive support from mental health professionals, which means they are largely managing their mental health on their own (Truscott et al., 2024). This reality makes understanding self-care even more important. This is not about replacing professional support, but about having practical strategies you can use in everyday life.

The challenge is that self-care means different things to different people. Some could think of it as staying healthy and preventing problems, others see it as managing existing difficulties, and still others focus on self-awareness and personal growth (Truscott et al., 2024). This confusion can make it hard to know what self-care actually means for you.

Setting Boundaries in Your Daily Life

One of the most practical forms of self-care is setting boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable. Muting work chats after office hours creates separation between work and personal time. It feels strange at first (like you’re being difficult or uncommitted), but staying constantly available means you never actually leave work mentally.

The same applies to personal relationships. Family group chats can be overwhelming when messages come in constantly. Setting limits on when you check them doesn’t mean you care less about your family, it means you are managing your capacity realistically.

Putting your phone on Do Not Disturb (DnD) mode an hour before bed creates space between the stimulation of your day and the rest your mind needs. Most things can wait until morning, even though sometimes our mind tries to dissuade us.

Saying no to plans when you genuinely need time alone is particularly hard. There is often guilt that comes with declining invitations, like you are letting people down or being anti-social. But needing solitude to recharge isn’t something to apologize for, it is just being honest about what you need.

Being Realistic About What You Can Accomplish

Most of us are trying to do too much. We make long to-do lists that we may never finish, then feel bad about ourselves at the end of the day when half the items are still unchecked.

Try setting one realistic goal for the day instead. Just one thing that genuinely matters. It feels less satisfying than having a list of twenty items to cross off, but at least you're not ending every day feeling behind.

Taking an actual lunch break – not eating at your desk while answering emails – gives your brain the pause it needs. Those few minutes away from your screen often lead to better focus and clearer thinking when you return. Your productivity doesn’t suffer from taking breaks, but it suffers from never taking them.

Celebrate small progress, not just major achievements. Got through a difficult day? That counts. Had a hard conversation you’ve been avoiding? That counts too. Acknowledging these smaller wins helps you stay motivated instead of constantly feeling like you’re not doing enough. And just to be clear – small wins aren’t about celebrating the absence of negatives (like “I didn’t make a mistake at work today”). Small wins are about recognizing the active things you did, even when they seem minor.

Understanding Your Emotions

One aspect that is often overlooked in traditional definitions of self-care is the importance of acknowledging what you are feeling instead of dismissing it. When psychologists worked with young people who had experience with mental health difficulties, they found that self-awareness and self-compassion were identified as essential components of self-care (Truscott et al., 2024). This is quite different from the health promotion focus that dominates most academic definitions.

Your feelings are valid even when they don’t seem logical or when they are inconvenient. Pushing feelings away does not make them disappear, they just show up in other ways, often at less convenient times.

Asking for help before you are completely overwhelmed is a skill that takes practice, especially if you have been conditioned to handle everything independently. Most people wait until they are in crisis before reaching out, but recognizing when you need support earlier is actually a strong point.

Managing Your Social Energy

Your social energy is limited, even if you are an extrovert. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation or attend every event. Quality time with one close friend can be more valuable than showing up to a networking event that leaves you drained.

Sometimes self-care looks like choosing what actually helps you over what looks productive or impressive to others. Taking the quieter route home even if it's slightly longer. Unfollowing social media accounts that consistently make you feel worse about yourself. These are not big dramatic decisions, but they shape your daily experience.

The people in your life who truly care about you will understand when you need to step back. If they don’t, that might be information worth paying attention to.

The Ripple Effect of Consistent Self-Care Habits

Research conducted with young adults who have lived experience of mental health difficulties led to a co-developed definition that emphasizes self-care as a continuous, individual process involving self-awareness, self-compassion, and specific strategies to work toward emotional balance (Truscott et al., 2024). The key insight here is that self-care is individual, i.e. what works is unique to each person, and it should emphasize emotional balance and meeting mental health needs. Small acts of self-care might seem insignificant individually, but they can create a ripple effect. When you consistently make choices that give precedence to your own well-being, you build trust with yourself. You learn to recognize your needs and respond to them with compassion, rather than criticism.

This might look like changing out of work clothes as soon as you get home to create a mental boundary between work and personal time. Keeping one day of the weekend genuinely free with no obligations planned. Taking a shower to reset your mood when you are feeling overwhelmed, not just for hygiene.

These micro-rituals throughout your day create anchors of calm and self-compassion. They are moments where you are actively choosing to take care of yourself, even when no one else notices.

How to Begin Implementing Your Everyday Self-Care

Self-care habits do not require a complete life overhaul or significant investment of time and money. It starts with paying attention to the choices you are making throughout your day.

Ask yourself: Am I doing this because I want to, or because I think I should? Is this actually helping me, or am I just going through the motions? What do I actually need right now?

Your answer might surprise you. Often we are operating on autopilot, doing things out of habit or guilt rather than genuine need or desire.

Start small. Pick one area where you can make a different choice. Maybe it is your phone use before bed, how you spend your lunch break, or which social events you attend. Small, consistent changes are more sustainable than dramatic shifts that you cannot maintain.

You don't have to change everything at once. In fact, trying to overhaul your entire routine usually backfires.

Professional Support for Your Mental Health

While these self-care practices can make a big difference in how you feel day-to-day, sometimes we need extra support to navigate life’s challenges. If you feel that you are struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or simply feeling overwhelmed by daily stressors, professional counselling or therapy can help you.

Our counselling services in the East side of Singapore offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings with a qualified therapist, with flexible scheduling options to fit your hectic lifestyle.

If you are ready to take the next step in prioritizing your mental health, contact us today to schedule an appointment. Taking care of your mental well-being is one of the most important investments you can make in yourself.

Stella Ong is a clinical member and registered counsellor with the Singapore Association for Counselling, registration number (C0940). Click here for more information on Stella Ong.

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References

Malinowski, A. J. (2014). Self-care for the mental health practitioner: The theory, research, and practice of preventing and addressing the occupational hazards of the profession. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Truscott, A., Hayes, D., Bardsley, T., Choksi, D., & Edbrooke-Childs, J. (2024). Defining young people's mental health self-care: A systematic review and co-development approach. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 33, 3765-3785. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-023-02320-7